Who Would Win Week 2023: Vote in a March Madness bracket for weirdos


The second annual Who Would Win Week bracket is here — and the competition is tighter than ever. Last year, Yuri Katsuki skated his way to a surprise victory over fierce competitors like Kirby, Pikachu, and Waluigi. This year, we’ve picked four totally new categories with a completely new lineup of contestants.

What exactly are we measuring? What are these characters fighting with/about/over? We’ll just say it’s all about vibes. Follow your heart.

The voting will be done via Twitter, starting at 11 a.m. EDT every day this week and ending at 9 a.m. EDT the next day. Without further ado, check out the full list of competitors — which will be updated as each are eliminated! — and get to voting.

Absence of Skin

None of these characters have skin! What do they have instead? Some have metal, some have bones, and some are plastic. What a range!

  • Sans from Undertale
  • R2D2 from the Star Wars franchise
  • Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde from the Pac-Man franchise
  • The Eye of Sauron from The Lord of the Rings movies
  • Clippy from Microsoft Office
  • The Thing from Marvel Comics
  • GLaDOS from Portal
  • Mountain Dew from life

Alter Egos

These are all characters’ secret identities! Be it to fight evil, have a pop music career, or just get away from the humdrum of every day life.

  • Jackie Daytona from What We Do in the Shadows
  • Mrs. Doubtfire from Mrs. Doubtfire
  • Green Man from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  • Sheik from The Legend of Zelda franchise
  • Joe Cool from Peanuts
  • Hannah Montana from Hannah Montana
  • Stefan from Family Matters
  • Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon

Animals in Hats

Exactly what it says on the tin. We played a little fast and loose with the definition of “animal” and “hat.”

  • Puss in Boots from the Shrek franchise
  • Birdo from Nintendo
  • Detective Pikachu from Detective Pikachu
  • Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb
  • Paddington from the Paddington movies
  • Chopper from One Piece
  • Miriel, Pastor of Vows (aka Pope Turtle) from Elden Ring
  • Fievel Mousekewitz from An American Tail


Characters out for vengeance… no actual Marvel characters included.

  • Payakan from Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Captain Ahab from Moby Dick
  • Kurapika from Hunter x Hunter
  • Elle Woods from Legally Blonde
  • Scaramouche from Genshin Impact
  • John Wick from John Wick
  • Ingio Montoya from The Princess Bride
  • Beatrix Kiddo from Kill Bill

Rally your armies, gather your friends, and get those fingers ready to click as you bring your champion to victory. The final winner will be revealed on March 18.

May the best… thing win! (But not The Thing, necessarily.)

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